Bike Nerddom Nirvana Achieved

So I cast off into the land of dreams the other night, a warm spring breeze blowing through my window and the merry tones of the dying party at the house next door. I note the pleasant soreness in my legs from the day’s hammer fest and sink them lower into the welcoming tender embrace of my memory foam mattress. I slowly sever my ties with the waking world in excited anticipation of the nocturnal picture show featuring me as hero, heart breaker, and hardcore bad ass. Even those dreams not featuring me as a larger than life protagonist will normally take on themes so utterly bizarre that they’re nearly incomprehensible by the waking mind. I mean, who hasn’t joined a biker gang whose weekend past times involves drinking bourbon from the bottle and watching winged golden retrievers play soccer outside the back window of their favorite watering hole?

I woke up the next morning to the scent of brewing coffee and the sizzle of eggs. As sat up and began to catalogue my night’s cognitive adventures I realized, much to my shock, there were none. I had had one dream, and one dream alone. I dreamed that I had bought a ’09 SRAM Rival gruppo to replace the ’08 Ultegra gruppo currently on my Madone. Then (and this is where the dream really takes on life) I was met with the decision of whether or not to sell the Ultegra gruppo on eBay, or to initiate a new build. I ultimately decided to purchase a Pedal Force RS2 frame and build it up as a crit bike. That was it. That was my dream. The dream theatre normally showcasing flicks about shagging super models and taking out opposing factions with effortless judo chops was now showing instructional reels on making prudent recreational purchases. What’s next, a friggin’ feature film on baking an apple pie? I feel that I may have achieved an all-time low where my dream life is commensurate, and may soon surpass, my real life’s degree of regularity.