Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
A Word on Oatmeal
For those of you who know Corey, then what follows may not come as any surprise to you. If you don’t know Corey, then all you really need to know is two things: (1) he loves road biking and (2) he’s the only other person I know personally that shares an obsession with oatmeal as equally unreasonable as my own. When we’re not talking bikes, we’re talking oatmeal preparations. Preparations can range from the truly delectable to the utterly bizarre. Some of the preparations are born of ravenous desperation, while others are the careful orchestration of flavors and textures plied together to beget a creation comparable to no other before it.
Like myself, Corey doesn’t bother to write down the details of even his most inspired oatey amalgamations, as a deliberate lack of precision in its recipes is one of the many qualities that defines oatmeal as the supreme grain. Despite this fact, we will, at times, become engrossed in a frenzied e-mail chain where we’ll swap ideas, criticisms, and heartfelt praise that can only be understood by a true fellow oatophile. Whether it be steel cut or rolled, raw or toasted, salted or sweetened, the common denominator is always that hint of sublime earthy oat flavor.
In these e-mails we’ve often discussed the reigning appeal of the oat in a world where the gourmand is otherwise overwhelmed with a multitude of other grains – each of which draws similar laudation from others as does the oat from us. We’ve decided that, among other things, the oat is the following:
(1) Easily prepared. In fact the oat doesn’t necessarily need to be prepared at all. Corey reports having simply rolled sliced banana in oats with a little cinnamon, salt, and honey. I’ve often times gnawed on raw oats while cooking something else, or have added them to trail mix like a lazy man’s granola. Even prepared, the oat simply needs only to be boiled or toasted – a triviality for someone even halfway competent in the kitchen.
(2) A blank palette. The oat, while possessing its own distinct and inherently appealing flavor, is rather muted in the expression of its essence, making it an excellent backdrop for so many other flavors.
(3) Versatile in texture and application. Going hand in hand with numbers one and two, the oat can be prepared to take on any number of textures – from the nutty crunch of an al dente steel cut to the creamy smoothness of a well boiled rolled varietal. As a result the oat is not only a readily accepting palette for flavor, but for texture as well. This allows the oat to play the role of bread, crust, crumble, nut, crunch, and a myriad of others. Oats (obviously) can serve as the basis of a dish itself, or can play a secondary role to whatever it is taking the spotlight.
(4) Cheap. C’mon, let’s not kid ourselves – oatmeal is crazy cheap while still providing a good balance of protein and complex carbohydrates. This also means you can buy it just about anywhere and, because it’s pretty shelf stable, take it just about anywhere as well. In fact (not surprisingly) instant oatmeal has been my go-to meal for every climbing trip I’ve ever been on, since food always seems to be the last consideration in the budget.
(5) Quick. Quick and cheap. Those two superlatives alone should render the oat the preferred grain of dirty old men everywhere. Seriously, though, oatmeal can take less than one minute to prepare depending on the species. As such, oats make an excellent recovery snack for us athlete types, or an excellent meal for those pressed for time in a more general sense. Again, ease of preparation is why oatmeal always is my staple calorie on any climbing trip.
With so many gleaming attributes, just how are Corey and I preparing our favorite dishes? Every way imaginable. I don’t run a recipe site, so you’ll have to deduce the details on your own, but here’s what we’ve been lucky enough to come up with so far: cookies n’ cream oatmeal, pumpkin pie oatmeal, oatmeal raisin cookie pudding, breakfast oatmeal with bacon (or sausage), potatoes, egg, and syrup, promeal (protein powder enhanced oatmeal – a trademark of ours), and baked oats with a caramelized streusel topping. Besides some of our more contrived concoctions, oatmeal is also great for just adding whatever the hell you want to. Some of my personal favorites are cottage cheese, apple sauce, berries, fruit of any kind, cream, honey, chocolate chips, and sunflower seeds.
But I’d be fooling myself it I thought the oat isn’t largely unappreciated today. Its neglect is readily evident by its relegation to grocery store shelves otherwise occupied by the sugary chemical laden mutations of the cereal world. It’s consumption is commonly uninspired, often consisting of nothing more than a few lumps of some pedestrian granulated sugar and a dash of sickly thin skim milk. Therefore is comes as no wonder to me that oatmeal has grown to be synonymous with insufferable diet plans characterized by monkish deprivation. But I say to you, oh reader, cast aside the fetters of self-imposed oat celibacy and rediscover the lusty side of a grain not always known for bland and prudish ways. Tear asunder the doors of your cabinets with unbridled fervor to rediscover the plentitude of additives which await forbidden union with your next bowl of oats. Then, as you recline lazily in your chair, smoldering cigarette resting between lips upturned in a mirthful grin while staring contentedly at the ravished bowl before you, you’ll be sure to thank me.
In these e-mails we’ve often discussed the reigning appeal of the oat in a world where the gourmand is otherwise overwhelmed with a multitude of other grains – each of which draws similar laudation from others as does the oat from us. We’ve decided that, among other things, the oat is the following:
(1) Easily prepared. In fact the oat doesn’t necessarily need to be prepared at all. Corey reports having simply rolled sliced banana in oats with a little cinnamon, salt, and honey. I’ve often times gnawed on raw oats while cooking something else, or have added them to trail mix like a lazy man’s granola. Even prepared, the oat simply needs only to be boiled or toasted – a triviality for someone even halfway competent in the kitchen.
(2) A blank palette. The oat, while possessing its own distinct and inherently appealing flavor, is rather muted in the expression of its essence, making it an excellent backdrop for so many other flavors.
(3) Versatile in texture and application. Going hand in hand with numbers one and two, the oat can be prepared to take on any number of textures – from the nutty crunch of an al dente steel cut to the creamy smoothness of a well boiled rolled varietal. As a result the oat is not only a readily accepting palette for flavor, but for texture as well. This allows the oat to play the role of bread, crust, crumble, nut, crunch, and a myriad of others. Oats (obviously) can serve as the basis of a dish itself, or can play a secondary role to whatever it is taking the spotlight.
(4) Cheap. C’mon, let’s not kid ourselves – oatmeal is crazy cheap while still providing a good balance of protein and complex carbohydrates. This also means you can buy it just about anywhere and, because it’s pretty shelf stable, take it just about anywhere as well. In fact (not surprisingly) instant oatmeal has been my go-to meal for every climbing trip I’ve ever been on, since food always seems to be the last consideration in the budget.
(5) Quick. Quick and cheap. Those two superlatives alone should render the oat the preferred grain of dirty old men everywhere. Seriously, though, oatmeal can take less than one minute to prepare depending on the species. As such, oats make an excellent recovery snack for us athlete types, or an excellent meal for those pressed for time in a more general sense. Again, ease of preparation is why oatmeal always is my staple calorie on any climbing trip.
With so many gleaming attributes, just how are Corey and I preparing our favorite dishes? Every way imaginable. I don’t run a recipe site, so you’ll have to deduce the details on your own, but here’s what we’ve been lucky enough to come up with so far: cookies n’ cream oatmeal, pumpkin pie oatmeal, oatmeal raisin cookie pudding, breakfast oatmeal with bacon (or sausage), potatoes, egg, and syrup, promeal (protein powder enhanced oatmeal – a trademark of ours), and baked oats with a caramelized streusel topping. Besides some of our more contrived concoctions, oatmeal is also great for just adding whatever the hell you want to. Some of my personal favorites are cottage cheese, apple sauce, berries, fruit of any kind, cream, honey, chocolate chips, and sunflower seeds.
But I’d be fooling myself it I thought the oat isn’t largely unappreciated today. Its neglect is readily evident by its relegation to grocery store shelves otherwise occupied by the sugary chemical laden mutations of the cereal world. It’s consumption is commonly uninspired, often consisting of nothing more than a few lumps of some pedestrian granulated sugar and a dash of sickly thin skim milk. Therefore is comes as no wonder to me that oatmeal has grown to be synonymous with insufferable diet plans characterized by monkish deprivation. But I say to you, oh reader, cast aside the fetters of self-imposed oat celibacy and rediscover the lusty side of a grain not always known for bland and prudish ways. Tear asunder the doors of your cabinets with unbridled fervor to rediscover the plentitude of additives which await forbidden union with your next bowl of oats. Then, as you recline lazily in your chair, smoldering cigarette resting between lips upturned in a mirthful grin while staring contentedly at the ravished bowl before you, you’ll be sure to thank me.
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