Hi there folks, and welcome to highlights from Dan, Corey, and Tristan’s 2008 road biking season. I’ve got to warn all you viewers at home, though, there’s a disturbingly large number of mechanicals to follow –
The season is off to a slow start with just Dan and Corey muddling about the streets of
Hartford County, but wait, what’s this? Tristan, off on a holiday from school, pulls up from the rear and joins the peloton. The peloton has found their rhythm and is moving along at an astonishing clip but….wait! What’s this? We don’t have confirmation yet but it appears that Tristan’s chain has literally snapped in two as he began up a short and shallow climb! It would appear that the team has stopped and is repairing the chain. But no, wait, I’m sorry, Corey is off again and has left the team to their own devices! The Euros would be proud to have such a esteemed rider amongst their ranks.Okay then, Tristan is back up and running and the peloton has regrouped, but wait, what’s it this time? It appears that Tristan’s chain has snapped yet again! My god, can this really be happening? However, it’d appear that the chain is now fixed and the peloton is back on the move. They’re now enroute from the rolling hills of Hartford county to the steeps of Litchfield in, what appears to be, pursuit of a festival. Yes, that’s right ladies and gentleman, we’ve just received confirmation that they will attending a wine tasting upon beautiful Lake Waramoug. This affords us the rare privilege to see these men off their bikes and enjoying themselves. Look at those Herculean legs!
Alright, they’re back on their bikes and on one of their signature training rides that start off on perilous Route 189. Corey and Dan pull ahead and are cruising towards the next traffic light and, wait, it looks like they’re being confronted by a balloon-tired hick-mobile! The truck has raced ahead of the two, swerving to the right and has completely blocked their progress! This doesn’t bode well folks because, as you will see from the season highlights, this is just one of many encounters they will be having with motorists. It appears that everything clears up, and they’re back on the move.
It looks like they’ve now added Art to their peloton and are pumping their way through New Hartford, in the midst of 100-miler…but what’s THAT?!?! A bear! That’s right folks, a black bear has just sprinted across the road right in front of the team! It looks like they’re continuing on, unfazed, not a single finger venturing towards the brake levers. They’re now approaching Riverton and, wait again! What’s this? Tristan flats and the team is brought to a screeching halt. It appears frustration is growing as the team struggles to find a working pump between the four of them. Look, though, a good Samaritan at the store where they’re stopped has provided them a floor pump and saves the day! Back on the move and…AGAIN!!!! Tristan has flatted yet again! This doesn’t look good folks. The team has stopped and is conferring.........we now have word that the Tristan and Art are gonna be catching the sag wagon and Corey and Dan will finish the ride via an abbreviated route.
The team is back up and running again, and are making their way to Cape Cod for a double metric century. We can now see them hammering down the Cape Cod rail trails, harrying recreational riders in an attempt to pick up miles in order to make their goal. It would appear that monotony has set in though, and, in the words of Corey, the ‘pace line looks like Swiss cheese’. However, despite growing frustrations, the ride is gonna be a success as the team rendezvous back at the cottage where Jesse has meanwhile been resting up and building a caloric base for the 2009 season.
The crowning jewel of the season is approaching, the Tour of the Litchfield Hills, and the team is making preparations. We’re now with them as they make the torturous climb up the Hubbard Park hill in what is, frankly, dangerous heat and humidity. If I am to understand correctly though, folks, they won’t be doing this hill one time, but rather three! This is part of a routine known as ‘hill repeats’ which the team says helps to build their renowned hill climbing capabilities. And quite a time they are making of it…it looks downright torturous!
Okay, for those of you at home, its now the morning of the Tour of the Litchfield hills and the team is chattering casually by their cars. It’s a little chilly, but I’m sure that’ll be the least of
their worries. With thousands of feet of climbing over 100 miles, the team really ought to be feelin’ it by the end of the day. It now looks like they’re lining up at the starting line annnnd, they’re off! The course starts with a grinding climb and gives the team no time to warm up. The rest of the day is wearing on the same, with climb after climb and a seemingly incomparable amount of descending. It now looks like Tristan and Dan have come upon Corey after having been separated and find that he’s fallen victim to a major mechanical failure, the source of which it appears he cannot determine. We now have word in that after a quick glance at the drive train, Tristan has indentified the problem as a fallen front derailleur as a result of not being properly tightened! We’ll go now to an interview we a taped earlier with his mechanic – “So I was, like, alone at the shop all baked outta my gourd and I’m thinking like, duuuuuuude, how sweet would it look if Corey’s derailleur was, like, all loose and shit?!?!” Hmmmm, well their you have it viewers, the source of the problem. Anyhow, the team is back on the move and approaching the finish line. They’ve just crossed the finish line, completing the tour which, much to our disappointment, will mark the beginning of the end of the season.Dan and Corey make one last push, however, and are taking up training for The Three Boroughs race in September. It looks like Tristan will be joining them for training and the team is now meeting up with the AMC group ride for added challenge. They’ve dropped into a steady pace line and…WHAT’S THIS??? The ride leader has been clipped from behind and is now having a major meltdown right there in road, resulting in a pileup! Corey’s made out lucky, but it looks like Tristan and Dan have been caught in the resulting mess. Wait, though, it looks like they’ve quickly gotten their act together and are charging after the breakaway, no less than a half a mile ahead! They‘re running a smooth operation annnnnnnd they’re back with the main group! Amazing!
It now looks like they’ve made a decision to join the faster group ride and they are definitely in for it! They’re off and, wait, where’s Tristan? It looks like we’ve lost Tristan! Things aren’t looking good out there. The sky has tornado-like qualities, and Corey and Dan are concerned with Tristan, but the ride must go on!
We’re finally here at the season closer, the Three Boroughs race. This is Corey & Dan’s first true race and the excitement associated with the unknown is palpable. They’re somehow able to compose themselves and looks like their recon of the course will be cut short by the call to assemble at the starting line…..annnnd, they’re off! Pulling up the first hill and, oh wait, what’s this? This hill is way longer than they thought! They’ll have to revaluate their output to maintain a steady burn up this thing! But it looks like they’re now up it and sweeping through the secondary roads and…..oh jeez!!! It looks like Corey’s chain has fallen off! What is with these mechanicals, folks? Will they never end? It does look like Corey’s chain is back on and he’s rejoined the race! They’re crossing the finish line now and Corey has taken 4th with Dan not too far behind in 6th. We’ll now go live to Corey who we can see is walking his bike back to the car – “Why are you walking you’re bike back to the car, Corey, when you could just ride?” “The season is over, I’m not riding anymore”.
No comments:
Post a Comment